There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Boobs are out for the taking
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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