Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it glows. i had to have it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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