it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
