Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
