Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
