kristin has been a bad kristin
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
