can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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