We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
