the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
