im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
