census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
