Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
