CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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