I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
