I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
