And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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