are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
