Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
