new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
