gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
