She said her name was "party"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
