Christians are straight up FREAKS
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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