In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
