return my video game
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
