ya dads aren't the best wingmen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
