White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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