I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
