Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
