Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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