i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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