Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
