So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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