somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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