I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
