actually, I'm a sock model
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The uberlube is also flammable
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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