I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
People in love make me want to vomit
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize