A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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