party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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