There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
