thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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