If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
