Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
