cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
