I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
