i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize