I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What a dumb baby whore.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
