i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
