Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
