she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize