I feel like I'm in dance class right now
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
