It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
