yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
