if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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