Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
