The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
