just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
