Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
