dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am naked and annoyed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
