great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am spending my child support on dildos
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
