Christians are straight up FREAKS
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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