Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
